On the night before Halloween, Chris appears as parody priest Father Flanigan alongside Erin as Sister Mary NunSequitur. The show mixes fake commercials and jokes with real talk about religious policy, Christian attitudes to Halloween, and plans for new shows.
Who is Father Flanigan and what are his parody products?
Father Flanigan is a morally bankrupt parody priest played by Chris. The show runs fake commercials for his products, including goat-scented flesh candles, soul swords and postmortem baptismal kits. The candle promises a refund if you ring the bell within 30 minutes of your passing. Chris says the candle ad was his first parody and opens the show, and that he made his first parody ads in 2019 with Andy Hall. He adds that the candle exists in real life, though to him it smells like plain wax.
What is the Theocracy Watch map?
Chris shows a heat map on his website tracking where government efforts to impose religion appear across the country. It updates weekly and covers reproductive rights, church in schools and LGBTQ restrictions. He mentions Texas children being made to read scripture aloud in class. Viewers can report local incidents, anonymously if they wish, and Chris checks each source before approving it. The map ties to the Theocracy Watch newsletter, and he also describes the Millstone newsletter, which covers sexual misconduct and cover ups in the church.
Why doesn’t The DAM Show talk about Islam more?
When a viewer named Jay asks if Chris is afraid to attack Islam, he says he is not. He argues Muslims are not the threat to Americans right now, and that Islam is not being forced on children in schools, while the Christians he discusses are specific ones pushing policy. He says he is not pro-Islam and still has serious issues with the religion. He admits he was once indoctrinated into Islamophobia and now tries not to judge people by their religion.
Why are some Christians against Halloween?
Chris says he has noticed anti-Halloween sentiment among Christians growing over the past few years, and especially this year. He describes people claiming trick-or-treating is satanic or demonic and that dressing in costumes is idol worship. He then loses his train of thought and jokes about it. He also mentions that finding Halloween activities with a small child is harder in a small town. Later the hosts call the war on Christmas nonsense, citing one public school that changed its raffle name.
Why is there a deconstruction show focused on women?
Erin explains that she and Misinterpretations plan a weekly show, probably called Misbehaved, leaning toward women in Christianity and religion. She says her deconstruction as a girl in a high-demand religion differed from her brothers’ experience. In her view men have to be taught not to oppress and women not to take it. She adds that many men leave religion but forget to deconstruct the patriarchy, which she says is accepted even outside religion.
Transcript highlights
Selected passages from the live stream, lightly edited for readability. Click a section time to jump to that part of the video.
Halloween Special, Goat Candles and Show Plans
Welcome to the daily atheist morning show. I was going to do the accent and everything, but I got distracted with tech. We’re almost there, and it’s getting good. Tomorrow is Halloween, my favorite holiday, because of all the sexy Halloween costumes.
Let’s see what we should do. I was going to do goat-scented flesh candles for you wonderful people this morning. Here is the pitch: Father Flanigan’s line of goat flesh candles. No goat? No problem. Just light one of these bad boys and let the sweet, savory scent of burnt offering rise up to the heavens. It’s easy, it’s fast, and deluxe models even have patented technology that produces a goat screaming sound as the wick burns. Father Flanigan’s line of goat candles. Save a goat, burn a candle.
Father Flanigan’s line of goat flesh candles are part of our interfaith outreach program. When you send money to atone and avoid the stone, a candle is required, or you’re going to hell, right? That’s true. That is true.
Good morning, everyone. I’ve got Sister Nonsequitur here. Whenever I first said hit the button, I was like, “Oh, yeah.” But wait, let me share something. Let’s go with John 3:16 and display that. There you go. See how it moved us over? And now we’re in circles. Then they’ll stack up over here for you.
I spoke to new people this morning, and I saw one young lady a while back who wants to debate people. She’s a theist and an atheist, and she’s eager to talk and debate with theists. I understand you don’t want to talk to these people, and I’m sitting here going, let her talk to them, but not realizing I don’t even like talking to them. She’s really cool, and she might want to come on the show with Sister Nonsequitur sometime and possibly take calls. I know I work better with a co-host. I just enjoy the back and forth and the interaction, so taking calls with a partner is something I’m all for.
We’re going to have multiple hosts on the Daily Atheist Morning Show, two hosts every day, and not always me, probably rarely me. We’re also going to do Saturday and Sunday live streams again instead of just doing a replay. Sister Nonsequitur and Flockmeister host chat and chill on Wednesday nights, and that’s moving from Discord to YouTube. Sister Nonsequitur and Misinterpretations are also going to have a weekly show, probably called Misbehaved, because we’re both miz. We are going to talk about, not exclusively but leaning toward, women’s issues, women in Christianity, and women in religion in general.
Science and medicine are really just focused on men, and women are over there getting the same medicine we give men. Their experience throughout the entire religious process is different from that of a man, so it’s natural to have a deconstruction show specifically for women. My deconstruction was heavily complicated by the fact that I was a girl growing up in a high-demand religion. It was a very different experience for me than for my brothers when they deconstructed. The men tend to be the oppressors, and they have to be taught not to do that anymore. Women have to be taught not to take that anymore. Unfortunately, what I have found is that a lot of men will deconstruct from religion and forget to deconstruct from the oppressive heart, the patriarchy. That’s accepted even outside of religion. It’s our culture, and there are things we are always going to fall into as people.
Father Flanigan parody ads and membership tiers
Father Flanigan is a parody line of products, and it covers just about everything, from condoms to, well, let’s just show you. Miss Noner, would you run the soul swords commercial for Miss Jada so she can test our new dashboard? The soul sword ad promises that the end is near and the Lord will return, and that you’ll want a holy weapon to join his army and smite the wicked. It also offers a full refund if you ring the bell of redemption within 30 minutes of your passing.
[Commercial break]
Miss Jada, are you okay? Do you need therapy? Oh, genius. Okay, you’ve got another acolyte. Excellent. Wonderful. Were you here earlier? I don’t know if you saw the goat-scented flesh candles commercial. That was the first commercial I ever made, the first parody, and it’s how we open the show. That was at the beginning of this show, which was two and a half years ago.
In 2019 I made my first parody commercials with Andy Hall. They didn’t have any AI or anything like that. The atheist parody ads were fantastic too. Fascism, get your fascism now, it comes blessed by Jesus. Honestly, the Conspiracy one from the older commercials is my favorite. I think it’s so funny.
For those of you who are on other shows, anybody has my permission to run my commercials as long as you don’t remove the At the Damn Show credit or my little logo at the bottom. Some people tried to use the Pharaoh’s Curse song, but it was registered as a real song for music, so YouTube flagged it every time and people couldn’t play it. I actually pulled it down, and now anybody can play the chanting Pharaoh’s Curse song if they want to. I miss Andy. He is a lot of fun.
I want to mention that at the top of the commercials list there’s a drop-down that says shortest and A to Z. I like mine to go shortest to longest so I can find a long break, so I roll down to the bottom. It’s easier to find them in alphabetical order, though. Now we’ll show you Bark Bank. You’ve heard of Shark Tank. Miss Jada hasn’t even met the dogs yet.
Before Bark Bank, shouldn’t we probably do the pup setup? Indeed, we should. You’re very true. We’ll do the deathbed conversion Bibles now. Is that the postmortem baptismal kits? That’s the one I’m looking for. That one’s my favorite. Here we go. This is the postmortem one.
[Commercial break]
I want to mention, Miss Jada, that I don’t think this one has any AI in it. The woman I’m with in this commercial is someone I’ve never met in person. Those were the kinds of things people were sending in the chat, and I’m glad you get the Neil deGrasse Tyson part. That’s awesome. You guys are just wonderful, and I appreciate you.
Thank you for becoming members of the Damn Nation, all of you wonderful people who support the channel. We have new levels on our tiers, from Pew Warmer up to I think one of them is Bishop of Blasphemy. I have not looked at that since I became a member nearly two years ago. We’ve unified everything under Ghost, which is the software that runs our newsletters, and you can become a member there.
Not everybody likes being a member on YouTube, because YouTube takes more money than it really should for such a huge platform. If you want to support the show without giving money to YouTube, you can go to Ghost or Patreon, though Patreon has its own issues. Ghost pays me more, but we had to create different names for the tiers on each platform. I thought, let’s just unify them all. Even in our Discord we now have the same tiers, so you can be a Pew Warmer or whatever.
You know, I did notice in the chat there was some confusion about Father Flanigan. Some people were saying he’s here today, and we need to clear that up. People do seem to think we resemble each other, and we both have shiny heads. Father Flanigan is a fence jumper, yes, but he and I are clearly different people. I can’t really do the accent the way Father Flanigan can, but he was generous enough to let me use his
Part 3
the show today. So, you know, in case anybody was wondering because a beard of empathy is, you know, very true. They are not the same people. There are other people. No, absolutely. But I mean, he he thinks that you’re you’re pretending his skin. Oh my goodness, Chris. Did you steal his entire skin? His entire skin? Maybe. Actually, Father Flanigan’s on the inside. and then um let’s go here. One second. Now we should Now, while we’ve got a moment, we’re going to go ahead and we’re going to let you run another commercial. Um she recommended you see Miss Jada, if you’re still here, the new people in the chat, new victims, you’re going to get to
see the pup. I want to mention before we run this, um, I I wrote this commercial that you’re going to see, the pup commercial. I wrote it, I scripted it, I edited it, I recorded it. It’s got green screen in it. It’s got multiple things. I did not have AI at the time. Um, I scheduled it to drop on the following Monday. You know, YouTube says drop it a day or two. So, I said following Monday. I woke up that following Monday and the pope had died. Go ahead, Miss Aaron. Oh, the I was so nervous actually run the Sorry. Go ahead. Uh oh, I’m sorry. But I was like that morning when it ran,
I was actually really nervous that you were going to get a lot of nasty flash uh push back about it. And I mean, too bad you didn’t because that might have been fun. But uh now something would would have been nice. Let me Well, here I’ll tell you what, Miss Kelly. Hi, Kelly Shear is here. I talked to her and this morning. She’ll be helping on the show in various fashions as as much as she’s willing soon. We’ll get her figured out as it goes, but I wanted to say hi. So, I did that that all that stuff is true. Unfortunately, even after this now, Miss Miss Aaron is going to run the commercial for
us, the parody commercial uh of the pup. It got almost no views. I mean, even still as a year and a half later, like,00 views or some [ __ ] Nowhere near, I don’t know, nowhere near to as many as it deserved. And go Miss Aaron. Sorry about that. I misread your Oh, we’re still on. Oops. Oh, yeah. The pup. You I did. It’s just not playing. I see our It takes it a moment. I think it We’ll get that figured out why it’s taking it a moment for the commercials to run. It does say it is though. I mean, our clock is running. No, it’s not moving though. At least not for me. Oh,
no. It’s not right. It’s not moving. Yeah, I see that. I see that. Gotcha. Interesting. Um Well, let me try let me press stop and let me try again. Try again. Oh, hey, cool. Hey, why didn’t I think of that? It’s not stopping. Stop. That’s all right. Does anything work? The banner. The banner went away. Will the banner come back? All right, we’ll go there. Stop. And then we’ll do that and we’ll see what happens. And we also have a soundboard. Is it going to work? Yes. Um, I can go to the soundboard. So, should I try and play a sound and see if what happens? Uh, sure. Okay. Um, probably. Let’s do the goat.
Oh, look at that. We got a super chat. Thank you, Afra. I appreciate that. Something happened, I think. Let’s go here. Um, so do I, Daddy Bear Kai. I I do as well. Mostly because we don’t have much of a choice. So, I might as well lick the AI boots. No, I’m just kidding. Not my kink. Interestingly enough. All right, there we go. Uh, let’s see what we got here. Afro Berna says, “Chris is a different personality in Father Flanigan’s head.” No doubt. I am just part of Father Flanigan to be honest. Uh, he’s like the Citywalk guy from South, you know. There’s also Wild Bill Wigglestick. They haven’t even seen Wild Bill Wigglestick yet.
Website projects, platform moderation, and an Islam question
Chris introduces the Theocracy Watch heat map on his website, which tracks where government efforts to impose religion appear across the country. He explains that the map changes every week as the buttons are toggled, and that while he can share it easily, he cannot yet make the embedded page fully interactive. He says the map is linked to the Theocracy Watch newsletter, which comes out on Saturdays or Sundays and reports on religious material being put into places like schools.
He also describes the Millstone newsletter, which reports on sexual misconduct by people in the church and the cover up of it. If a priest has been caught doing something, or a church has been paying people off or hiding it, that is the kind of story the Millstone covers. He then points viewers to destroyingchristianity.com, which contains eight arguments or chapters explaining why Christianity is mistaken, including that God is not who people think he is and that Jesus was not sacrificed. He calls it a deconstruction page.
Chris next talks about the Discord, which he describes as a place to chat and hang out with friends and where people can start more activity if they join. He has been running a Wednesday night chat and chill there, a casual hangout where people get to know each other with more interaction than the daily chat allows, and he plans to move it to the YouTube channel while still streaming to Discord for those who prefer it there. He also says the show may stream to TikTok, though he is wary of it because of how he talks.
On that point he says he has only been live on his own channel for a few months, usually with a room of about 20 people, and has received only two warnings or violations. One came after he exhaled smoke on camera, which was flagged as adult content and required the stream to be marked 18 plus. He says he has never been flagged for his own language, though he was once flagged for a guest’s language.
[Commercial break]
Later, a viewer named Jay asks whether Chris is afraid to attack Islam. Chris answers that he is not, and says he will speak about Islam, but he begins to explain the problem Jay is raising and then turns to show something on screen, leaving the explanation unfinished.
Religious policy maps and questions about Islam
Jay, sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t, so here we go. You see that map, Jay? This is the map of where your religious people, your brethren, are forcing their [ __ ] on everybody here in our country. This is just where the reproductive rights are, where Christians are forcing their [ __ ] on women, right? It updates every week, and it’ll tell you where these things are happening.
Here we’ve got church in schools. Look, that’s church in schools. It wasn’t enough to put the Ten Commandments in schools and force their [ __ ] on everybody. Now they’re going to start having children read scriptures out loud in class in Texas. Here we’ve got LGBTQ restrictions, and look at that map of where Christians are forcing their [ __ ] on other people.
If you’re from Texas and you know about something that you don’t see here, a book ban or some kind of thing in a local school, you can come down here and report it. You can choose whether you want to be anonymous or not. I’ll manually look at these myself and check on your source. Once it’s approved, it’ll show up here on our map.
Why do I not talk about the Muslims? Maybe because they’re not the threat to us right now. Can you make a similar map of where Muslims are forcing their [ __ ] on people here in the United States? I’m not pro-Muslim. I’m not pro-Islam. Well, I’m pro Muslim. I realize that I had been indoctrinated and was an Islamophobe, but I’m not anymore. I still don’t like the religion, and I have my very serious issues with it, but I try not to judge all the people by the religion anymore like I used to.
Islam isn’t being forced on our children in schools right now. The Christians we talk about here are specific Christians, and
Pharaoh’s Curse Parody, Halloween Views and Atheist Jokes
So, Jada, we have tried to prepare you for what you are about to experience. We have, you know, tried to ramp up a little slowly, but there are psychiatrists standing by. They’re all dogs. In case this does you irreparable damage, they will help. All right, let’s go. The Pharaoh’s Curse, guys.
[Song plays: a parody number about the Pharaoh’s Curse, with a refrain about a case of plague between the legs.]
Jada seems to have enjoyed it. Of course, I don’t know if you know the story behind it. This is about Abraham and his wife Sarah. He sold his sister Sarah to the pharaoh, and the pharaoh got the crotch cooties. So he’s like, I don’t want this woman, take her back. Of course, we also know that while Sarah was his sister, she was also his wife. So he sent her back, they got all the treasure, he got his wife back, and the pharaoh got crotch cooties. It’s a great story.
Hello, Alice. We need atheist movies. Making a whole movie about how we lack belief in God. Wouldn’t that just be a movie that doesn’t talk about God? The greatest story never told.
Oh, I know. That was impeccable storytelling. I did a really good job with that. I’m feeling a little embarrassed about my terrible storytelling, so I’m going to play another commercial to hide my pink cheeks.
[Commercial break]
If there are any theists in the chat, Matthew is still here. I am sure that commercial has deconverted him. Matthew, are you there? Did it work? Are you an atheist now? I expect it did, so I’m just going to assume it did. Matthew is one of us now, guys. He obviously no longer believes in God because that commercial was just so darn convincing.
Sure you did. Well, the thing is, you may well have. I think Christians are probably pretty good at that. Become an atheist, please.
One thing I have found interesting in the past few years is that the anti-Halloween sentiment among Christians seems to be growing. I have seen a lot more people saying trick-or-treating is satanic or demonic, and that dressing up in costumes is idol worship. I’ve seen a lot more of that this year in particular, but it has been growing in previous years too. I find it really interesting, because I think that it is really, well, that was a terrible train of thought. Derailments happen. There are no survivors. I have no idea where I was going with that all of a sudden. I apologize, folks.
But Halloween has been interesting this year because I have a small one, and finding activities has been a lot more difficult. I live in a small town too, so that may also add to it.
Oh, Chris, you’re back. I am sort of back, if you can hear me. Were you listening in? I did mention I do better with a co-host. Well, I guess I got the gift for myself. Honestly, when I get distracted by chat, I lose my train of thought. When I glanced back, the whole thing had vanished. So I need to practice that transition somehow, to more smoothly hide the fact that I’ve lost my place.
I had meant to ask you about that software. I went to the website and I’m a little confused, but we’ll save that for a private message later. I am a complete tech idiot. A friend of mine once tried to help me with my computer, and it wasn’t working out. I kept saying, this happened and then this happened, and he said, wait a minute, can I see your computer? It was a mess, so much spy
Tech Trouble, 2028 Prophecy Talk and Politics
Okay, I’m going to try the commercials again. Honestly, the chat isn’t what’s throwing me off. It’s the tech issues, because they intimidate me so much. Isn’t it funny how it all hit just as I left and left you alone? As soon as I left, it crashed. The moment you left me alone, it crashed.
The other night I was on a friend’s TikTok live, and we got a very interesting caller. The prompt was “trans kids exist, God does not,” and they had a very interesting perspective on the God is not thing. I also think that if the Holy Spirit were real, Aaron wouldn’t have tech issues. I have been praying to my Flying Spaghetti Monster that the tech issues will resolve themselves, but so far they are not.
[Commercial break]
I was listening to a call earlier while I was waiting for the show to start, and some guy was talking about a prophecy. He was saying, “I keep hearing everybody talk about 2020, 2028, everybody’s talking about 2028.” It was Matt Deahundy on the call, and he said, “Yeah, I wonder why everybody in America is talking about 2028. Could it be that we’re wondering if our Constitution will still be standing after that, considering how many people want…” Anyway, we don’t talk too much about politics here lately, even though it is somewhat tied into atheism, because the Christofascists are trying to take over.
Nobody really cares about anything. They just go with their feelings. Well, if they just go with their feelings, then that is caring. That doesn’t make any sense. Is anyone in America talking about 2027, though? Well, I mean, probably someone.
We should also remember that Bonfire Day is coming up soon, right? I don’t know much about it, but I know that’s kind of your guys’ time to set off fireworks and stuff. Somebody in chat mentioned The Handmaid’s Tale on Netflix. Jim Larson, are you talking about The Handmaid’s Tale? Maybe. I don’t know.
[Commercial break]
We haven’t played the commercial featuring our very own King Kelly yet, so let’s see what we think of it. I hope everybody noticed King Kelly’s excellent recommendation of the kits. He is a happy customer. Recently, Beard of Empathy also became a happy Father Flanigan’s foreskin restoration kit survivor, you could say. Yesterday on the show, he revealed that he too had appreciated Father Flanigan’s excellent product.
[Commercial break]
We have another wonderful Father Flanigan’s product, and this one you can get in real life. I have one. It is the goat-scented flesh candle, Father Flanigan’s real live goat-scented flesh candle. I’m going to replay the commercial, since I’m advertising the candle itself, so that everybody knows you can get it in real life. Oh, it looks like that one might be too big too. Well, that one isn’t playing either, so I will just tell you
Goat Candle Parody, Holiday Rants and Halloween
Now you won’t be able to smell the goat unless you have a lot of faith. You need a lot of faith, because I have to admit, to me it smells like nothing. It just smells like a plain old wax candle. But it really does smell like goat to God. It is 100% guaranteed to work. If you find yourself unsatisfied after you die, you can ring the bell within half an hour of your passing in Father Flanigan’s office, and you will be refunded your money. Not the shipping, though, just the money for the candle itself. Sorry, you’re out the shipping.
So, I personally am saving mine until I’m done with all my sinning. That’s why I have to make sure I get extra in for now. When I light it, it’s going to be really, really worth it, because I could get more. Sure, we could all get more, and it’s a good idea to get more, but I just want to make sure each one really counts. Lately I’ve been really upping my sinning and blaspheming. I have been eating more babies lately. It’s a lot of fun. If anybody has any recipes, please put them in the chat.
On that note, let’s talk about Christmas and hell, guys. After the day after tomorrow, unfortunately, the Christmas season starts, so why don’t we start a little early? Anony 3141592 says the war on Christmas started here a couple weeks ago. Yeah, it is absolute nonsense that this war on Christmas is happening, because a single public school took Christmas out of the name of their end-of-year raffle. Oh my heck, that is insane. That is so crazy.
I was talking about the Halloween thing earlier, and I got distracted from telling you what I was going
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